Le Lady de Gatos

So I was driving along with my best friend in the passenger seat next to me. Suddenly the car in front of me skidded on ice and I had to emergency brake. Before I knew it my hand was across my friend to stop her from flying forwards She looked at me and told me she couldn’t believe that my first thought would be to save her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, as a pizza delivery driver, I have developed a reflex action to stop the pizzas flying off the seat whenever I emergency brake.

(Source: laughingisbetter, via nevergoingdown-nevergivingup)

rylanclarky:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

(Source: punchingshins, via laugh-until-you-drop)

i found a gif that pretty much describes the majority of the human race

i-like-pigeons:

(Source: twerknugget, via wideeyed-dreaming)

I wish I could just put my hand in the screen and grab whatever I want.

Or whoever….

(via whydidipullthetriggerboom)

chelleplusone:

booty-banquet:

thepnds:

chompyface:

do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head there in your hands and looking into their eyes and then violently jerk their head on a right angle and snap their neck

i was not expecting that plot twist

i believe you mean neck twist

(via whydidipullthetriggerboom)